Patience vs. Push

In order to work with the current cycles, I have been spending some time going back through my journals. It helps me to see the patterns; to see the sticky places and the blind spots (though, I guess if they weren’t blind spots they would be easy to see, eh?!).

In my journals I came across an entry from about a year ago where my sister disciple, Gracia, passed a Kriya technique for healing along to me. And THAT reminded me of the little lump in my foot.

See, on the top of my right foot, this odd little hard lump showed up; it was hard, like bone, and right under the skin. It got large enough to stick out, and it really looked icky; it also made it hurt to sit on my feet, which as a yoga teacher, I do a LOT. So, I decided to use this technique on my little lump.

I probably used the technique for a month and a half; really, no more than that, and not even daily. And, right away, I got impatient with the process. Five times; no change; fifteen, twenty times; and my lump, still the same. How great could this technique be if it couldn’t handle my little lump?

So, I stopped the technique, abandoned it really; chalked it up to something that either I wasn’t good at, or just plain didn’t work.

And I had not thought about it for a long time, until I re-read that entry and realized; the lump, it’s gone! I don’t know when it disappeared, but when I reached down to feel for it, there was just a teeny tiny little spot left. Not visible to the eye.

Did the healing technique do the trick? Was it my desire for it to go away? What happened here? And why, why, was I so impatient?

Actually, patience factors into everything in my life; living, loving, parenting, teaching, growing, learning, healing; where is it that patience is not required?

So, I’m thinking now – what other bit of fabulousness have I glossed over because I didn’t take the time; because I didn’t devote the minutes, the hours, the years? And the flip side of that is – where have I been WASTING time; throwing minutes and hours and years at things that are not growing, that are not evolving; that just aren’t taking me where I need to go?

The ever-present issue of where to lean into Life, and where to ease up? Push vs. Patience.

If you’ve figured it out, please let me know; in the meantime, I think I’ll pick that healing technique back up and work on it; I am thinking it belongs in my practices. But I also must re-examine my life — where I am spending those minutes, those hours, those years? What is taking time away from what matters? From what is real? From what is true? From what . . . matters to me? Hmmmmm . . . .

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